Introducing shabbyrosy…

October 1, 2008

Shabbyrosy will be contributing to “My Boyfriend’s Last Dungeons & Dragons Game” as well, her boyfriend is actually in the same little playgroup-thing!

This is very exciting.



I’m on a plane… I can’t complain…

August 25, 2008

Matt usually plays DND on Tuesday nights, but today he went on Sunday for a longer than usual game. I asked him all about it when he came home, and believe me, it was really confusing! I took notes to make sure I got everything, don’t worry. 

What confuses me the most about DND, is that the game doesn’t really seem to have a POINT. I don’t see how you WIN. I guess Matt and his friends are all in an imaginary fantasy gang or something, because as far as I can tell they just kinda’ go out and do things, there isn’t like a princess in a castle to save and then the game is over (I think). They just seem to roll dice and find a job to accomplish, and then roll dice to do it. It’s kind of like any day in reality, except instead of rolling dice and finding out that your live-in girlfriend is demanding that you empty the dishwasher, you roll dice and find out that “flare” wants you to find the entrance to a spaceship or something. Instead of rolling dice to find out if you are going to put the dishes in un-rinsed (ugh!!) or rinsed, you roll the dice to see if you are going to use a spell or an ax or something to open a door. I don’t really know why one is so much more fun, I know that one gets my dishes clean and one doesn’t. 

Anyway, I am getting ahead of the story. Sorry! Ok, so they were all on a scouting mission to find an inter-dimensional plane, and there was this spaceship that existed on multiple planes. It made me laugh to think of a plane on a plane, but Matt informed me that it wasn’t really a plane, it was a SPACESHIP, so.. whatever. I still think it’s a good joke. 

There was like this boss lady person that told them that they had to find the entrance to the spaceship. I don’t understand why they had to listen to her, but I guess they have nothing else better to do. One of Matt’s friends is a “bard”, but as far as I know, none of these characters actually has a JOB. That might be one reason why the game is so popular. So I guess they just walk around and wait for someone to tell them to do something. 

They got into the spaceship and these brain-sucking monster things attacked them by teleporting in. Why bother having entrances to things if everyone can teleport?! It doesn’t make sense. Maybe there wasn’t even an entrance if the things on the ship can teleport! I was pretty proud of Matt at this point though, because apparently he helped trap a lot of the monster things by casting a spell. Matt is so smart! Apparently Matt’s character is this huge fat guy that can cast spells, and he’s really lazy. Instead of walking he uses spells to float, and that is why he is morbidly obese. His friend George is some sort of God or half God or something. WHY is MY boyfriend the fat floating guy and George gets to be the God?! 

Matt is a fat floating guy and George is a God, but everyone else is half person and half something bizarre. The storyteller of the group is half cobalt. I have no idea what that is, I think it must mean he’s something like a large smurf because he’s blue, and smurfs live in the woods. He’s the bard, which makes sense, because smurfs like to sing. Apparently the 1/2-smurf’s songs “can make good things happen”, but I guess they can’t help you find an entrance to a spaceship. How come they all have the powers to do these crazy things like float, fight monsters and sing magic songs, but it took hours to find a door to a spaceship?! They are totally smoking pot all day!

They didn’t find the door all day, but they did find a “null” gun, which makes things cease to ever exist. apparently the smurf grabbed the gun and set off the alarms, so they had to fight brain-sucking monsters again. But they got them with the null-gun, so they never existed. The ones that weren’t shot with the gun were bested by Chuck, who is half-ogre and “a good grappler”. 

Matt said he had something called a “HELL-BALL”, which means he can roll the dice and figure out the damage he does by adding the numbers together.  Matt said something about “6 balls” floating around his head, and I got a little creeped because 6 other guys play DND with him, and I think he got wasted, passed out, and was tea-bagged all afternoon. I shudder to think where his obsession with “finding the entrance” came from.


August 21, 2008

My boyfriend plays Dungeons & Dragons every week with his friends, even though they are like… old? I thought they were too old for it, anyway.

When I was a kid I used to get “Double Dragon” and Dungeons & Dragons mixed up, to the point where until recently I thought “D&D” was a VIDEO game. Not so! They have little boards with dice and they… roll the dice and that is how they decide what happens. But it’s not like gambling, they don’t put money on it. So it’s legal. Anyway, there is like a storyteller guy, and s/he tells the story about the dragons they slay or whatever. Only sometimes, the story isn’t that dramatic, it’s really boring. One time they spent all night just trying to break a wall down or something. They were rolling the dice and I guess they couldn’t get the right numbers for a long time.

Do you think he’s cheating on me guys? I mean, do you really think he’s “rolling dice” for hours with these guys? Maybe that’s code for like… something bad.

Anyway, you tell me. I am going to blog all his games for you. I’m the “story teller” now!